About four to five years ago I began a journey that did not have much clarity or direction. All I knew was that something was off in my life and I needed to get to the bottom of what that was. Even though I was a minister, I felt as though something in the church was off and we were missing the heart of the matter. During that time I started a blog to work out many of my thoughts called “Naked.” It was my thoughts uncut, unreserved – naked.
That journey took me through some seriously high highs and some seriously low lows. I began to question everything I had ever been taught in church, school, home, etc… as it pertained to my relationship to God. I wanted to purge my mind of my old way of thinking and allow Him to give me new lenses through which to view the world. The worst part of it all was the fact that those closest too me could not understand what I was going through. Some of them criticized me and still many more turned their back on me all together.
For the first year or two of my journey I struggled with understanding what my issue with today’s church was. I was finally able to articulate this thought, “We (the church) preach and teach a love that we do not live.” Once I was able to articulate that issue, I then set out to learn how to live out the love I had been singing and teaching about. That journey landed me on this one central thought… Live Love.
I say all that to say this… Over the weekend I was able to figure out how to merge my old blog that I started in 2005 with my new blog that I started in 2008. The blog entries from 2005 and 2006 are indicative of where I was at the time. Perhaps the best blog to provide a snapshot of what I was thinking is the last one I wrote called Questions Volume 1.
After writing Questions Volume 1 I did not feel as though I should go public with thoughts that I was trying to “work out.” I felt like I should wait until I arrived at some type of a conclusion before I started sharing again. As a result there is about a two year time span that I did not post blogs.
Now every day I wake up with a passion to live love. My journey looks much different today than it did those years ago. Now I have clarity and direction. My purpose and passion are clear. So, now my journey/ blog is about "learning to live love.
If you would like to take a look at some of the thoughts that I was wrestling with feel free to look through some of my old posts from 2005 and 2006.
